Is truth bitter?

I knew it is, but didn’t know the level of bitterness I faced!

The other day, against all my wishes, I paid a visit to my boss beyond prescribed working hours. During the informal chat we discussed several social issues in a very cordial atmosphere. During the discussion, work culture, collection of field data and subsequent computation and application of such data became Centre point of our discussion. Such healthy, cordial and friendly discussions allow the subordinates to unwind, discuss issues related to their work and organisation frankly. However, during the deliberations my point regarding some unsatisfactory field information regarding Prime Ministers flagship soil health scheme did not go well with my boss. I almost contradicted the stand of my boss with logic, reasoning and facts.  My honest and realistic assertion regarding gap between ground situation and the records on paper was brushed aside in a very tactical manner. I was made to accept the collective position, though not really the realistic stand. My contradictory opinion ruined the whole discussion and I myself felt little uncomfortable. I could sense that the inside of my boss got annoyed. Though, he tried the best of his psychological skills to keep his calm and make me feel comfortable, but his annoyance was visible on his otherwise glowing face. I could feel and clearly make-out the pressure of my apparently transgressing but realistic statement on the being of my boss. Yet, in a matter of minutes the pressure on his psyche within bubbled like a saline spring of words. Very discreetly, he correlated my frank contention regarding facts to a Kashmiri maxim. An adage related to the foolishness of a groom at his in-laws house on his first visit after marriage. Now I too tried to be tactical and laughed off his indecent and annoying correlation of my factual stand with foolishness.     At home we as an educated and learned family have a chronic history of serving the state since long, though in humble capacity but with authority. I had heard a lot about ‘Kagzi Gooday’ from my elders, rather, I am used to a subservience service lexicon full of several other mysterious words and sentences. On asking they would always explain ‘Kagzi Gooday’ as bundle of imaginary information that would never tally with the field work or achievements by government agencies. Crafty and wily officials would make their bosses believe the fictional facts that never existed. Obviously my boss was victim of this ‘kagzi Gooday’ syndrome as many of his subordinates on that particular day had made him to believe about a hunky-dory situation in the field about that specific scheme. So under the influence of ‘majority is authority’ how would he trust my very little minority voice of dissent about ground realities? Alas, the Goebbels doctrine was weighing heavier on facts! Undoubtedly my boss was not wrong in any way, as he was made to believe in manipulated facts and thus he reacted the way any other human-being would have behaved.

I don’t generalize working of any particular individual or organisation, that too in the contemporary era of information and technology, but most of the times official information, data and computation is never done with honest and dedicated precision. The mantra of devious ‘over and above’ increase or decrease in previous financial year’s data for any future planning or projection kills the essence of development. Making ‘Kagzi Gooday’ not only to run but gallop kills the soul of governance and progress. Most of the times physical and financial projections of any agency never connect with basic data of some sample are or unit thus creating hurdles in proper growth and development. And this practice of imaginary and hypothetical exercise of projection should never be allowed or encouraged.

Back to my otherwise special meeting and discussion with my boss, where I was very shrewdly demeaned and designated as foolish for no fault other than portraying the truth and only truth , there was no other alternative for me but to swallow the humble pie of famous ‘eat the humble pie’ tradition and call it a day. In my wildest imagination I would have never ever thought of such demeaning and derogatory categorization by an astute captain of highest worth and excellence just for speaking truth! Alas, my truthfulness cost me much dearer; branding me a fool that too of a primitive make and kind.