….and these four legged creatures have a message for all!
A healthy black dog with prominent white streak, arrogantly wagging his furry tail moves out to address a select audience. This extraordinary meeting of dog council was scheduled to be held at Achen garbage dumping ground on the outskirts of Srinagar but the elite ‘sixth sense’ squad of intelligence wing of ‘Kashmir Hooien Alliance’ (KHA) cautioned its leaders of a possible assault by civil society groups. Hurriedly, Dog leadership decided on a new venue in the backyard of Lal Ded hospital. Last minute Change of venue was communicated to participating delegates through ‘telepathy mode’, a communication system recently developed and mastered by scientific research wing of (KHA). After customary sloganeering—Hooien itehaad zindabad and Jo hum se takraya ga insaan ban jaya ga, charismatic dog leader started delivering his maiden but historic speech.
I feel pleased to address this first of its kind dog assembly, that too in the backdrop of confrontation with so-called wisest and blessed creature of universe—the Humankind. In prevailing hostile situation we have to be extra cautious as we are in a war against enemy with huge resources, exceptional technology, knowledge and manpower. But, by the grace of our lord ‘the devil’ we will overcome all odds and come out as decisive winners. It is a Herculean task and we have to be extra vigilant until the ‘D’ day arrives when we will take over. Let me give you the details of our achievements and future strategy.
Dear friends, we resolutely believe in taking over the human race and in this endeavor we will leave no stone unturned. We have infiltrated into almost every sphere of human life and it is pertinent to mention that very recently we made inroads even into the famous Dachigam wildlife sanctuary. We are concentrating more on cities and towns where power centers of humankind are located. Practically all bigger towns and cities of Kashmir are under our control. We are in command of every road, street, and lane of Srinagar; the capital of Kashmir. All residential areas, hospitals, eateries, playing fields, power stations and every security installation is under our tacit siege and every activity in the vicinity of all these vital installations is monitored by our intelligence wing. We have deputed our elite ‘Sixth sense’ intelligence and rapid action group around all government buildings, especially civic body structures. Our ‘Rabies squad’ is doing a commendable job by inflicting maximum damage and creating enormous fear psychosis. Achieving maximum targets in Srinagar city, I hope their counterparts in other parts of valley will be doing much better.
It gives me immense pleasure to reveal that we have succeeded in our most important mission of fixing moles and placing informers within the human society and some of them are now openly defending our cause. Their role is commendable and we should not disregard their contribution and sacrifice and will surely consider rewarding them at an appropriate time. In war against Mankind we are trying our best to take other associates on board and our representatives tried to set a cord with rodent and cat community within the valley but certain vested interests within their ranks create hurdles in shaping an alliance. I assure you; if we are unable to make any headway we will launch a restricted mission against them and will get them under our control. To attain maximum capability, we still have to do and achieve more in several fields. Yet, we are unable to make headway in full-fledged biological war against human beings. Our researchers at ‘Achen Biological Warfare Centre’ are doing their best to develop a rapidly dispersible anti-immunity organism. They have assured me that they will be ready with the desired biological arsenal in another couple of months. Till then you should direct your respective ‘Rabies units’ to inflict as much damage as they can.
Comrades, fight against Humankind is not an easy task. We have to offer more and more sacrifice and endure more sufferings not only to get out of the cruel clutches of mankind but achieve the dream of our forefathers; the dream of taking over mankind. At the end I thank you all and wish you a great success in our mission.